May 12, 2017

It’s almost 1am and I am a mess. Feeling extremely lost and crying to myself while I listen to James Bay. 

X and I have been trying to have a conversation for the past week. But our schedules never work out… we are always busy when the other calls. 

I miss S. I wanted to text him but I stopped myself. 

This post https://cupofjo.com/2017/05/thoughts-on-aging/#more-130365

I am in the chapter of my life where I do not know what I want as a career and what I want as love… sometimes I look at the two chairs in my living room and I wonder, what would life have been if S and I continued and moved in together…. and then I thought about it some more and realized… that is something he will never give me. 

And that is what makes the tears flow… when love itself is not enough. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s