I had trouble falling asleep last night. I was tossing and turning the entire night. I think it’s a combination of being back in homehome and my grandma. My grandma is quite sick and I was very worried… being back at homehome reminds me of S. My mind was just not in a good place, and I felt quite lonely.
These days when I return home, I give my sister, my mom and my grandma all a big hug. To help myself get a step closer to being able to communicate more with them. I think my family views my life as under control, but they do not know the storm I hold within. The confusion, the loneliness and the pain. I want to eventually be able to share it with them, because I think they have the wisdoms that I need.
“Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important.”
Leaving for Korea in 4 days… still haven’t packed. That is on the to do list this weekend.